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The Journey

May 14, 2014

The weight of this diamond is fractions of an ounce.
Yet, heavy with gravity it sits on my left ring finger, it hangs from my heart.
This tiny little ring, sits heavier on my hand, than the baby in my belly
Lifetime Commitment, Forever, Till Death Do Us Part
These words fill my head in all CAPS, in italics, in bold face type, underlined.
I’ve been asked this question before.
I said yes. I meant, “Yes, if you change.” He didn’t. I did.
So now my mind is turning over a thousand questions in my head this time – not my heart.
To be sure, I’m sure.
To be sure you’re really Him.
To be sure you’re perfect just the way you are.
To be sure you think I’m perfect just the way I am
Because I’m not 24 this time. I’m 31 and I’ve learned a little if nothing else.
You won’t change. Neither will I. And in some ways we’ll both change and grow and become older and wiser and want different things and want the same things.
Some days we will love each other.
Some days we will hate each other.
Some days we will be ambivalent about one another.
Some days the dishes will have the potential to start world war three.
Some days a dandelion will melt my heart.
Some days someone else might look tempting.
Some days the grass might appear greener.
I’m asking myself if in the depths of despair, at our lowest points could I convince myself that the grass couldn’t possibly be greener. Could you convince yourself of the same?
Could forever with you mean…
Well, Forever.
Your face enters my mind, your soul enters my heart
Your calmness speaks to me.
Your rational way of approaching love has rubbed off on me it seems.
You are good for me.
You are good to me.
You never hurt me on purpose or try to manipulate me.
You are honest.
You are kind.
You are stubborn.
You are a good listener.
You are funny.
You are fun.
You are introspective.
You are thoughtful.
You are everything I have ever needed in a man.
And you have asked me the one question I never thought you’d ask.
To spend my life with you, to be your wifey, to have you next to me through it all, my best friend, someone I can love and hate and grow with and deal with and evolve with and enjoy life with and share smiles and tears and hopes and fears and as I turn it over in my head, as I put the word on my lips – Married. Your Wife. My Husband.
To wear this ring, to hold your hand through it all is actually no weight at all.
It is a feather. It is air. And it would be my life’s honor.
To share with you, the journey.

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